I have an aunt who just found out she has half-siblings (my mom and her siblings) and has got into contact with everyone. I was wonder could she join the forum since she is not technically adopted but she never knew anything about her bio-dad. I don't want her to get kicked out of the group and I think she could use some help with people who might understand what she is going though. I also think that with me on the forum she might be more comfortable since she has a half-niece on here.
Sounds like adoptee lite or half adoptee. We allow people with those situations here.
I started to write a response three times and each time decided that I haven't been here long enough, and certainly haven't been involved in other settings that involve the other members of the triad to weigh in on policy like this. This is a private space for us as adoptees. But I certainly saw in her description a woman who must have shared some of what we have from relinquishment. On that basis, I decided that if she was allowed in like I hoped she would be, I would welcome her. Defogging has made me question a lot of things that I previously wouldn't have. I need to remember that my basic humanity isn't a product of being a good adoptee and that I should nurture it.
I was trying to convey my mixed feelings, wanting to help sergey 's aunt and wanting to protect our community, and at the same time express the relief and joy I feel at the ultimate lack of conflict. I feel like I failed pretty badly expressing that in my previous comment, but I'm going to let it stand anyway. sergey, I welcome your aunt happily.
I was trying to convey my mixed feelings, wanting to help sergey 's aunt and wanting to protect our community, and at the same time express the relief and joy I feel at the ultimate lack of conflict. I feel like I failed pretty badly expressing that in my previous comment, but I'm going to let it stand anyway. sergey , I welcome your aunt happily.
Hey I take no offence to your previous comment. This is why I asked in the first place. I don't even know if she wants to join (asked today) but I didn't want to ask her then find out she would not be welcome. I honestly wanted to ask her because I know it's helped me and I thought she could use a safe space knowing how harsh people can be. I didn't want to force everybody to accept her because they don't want to tell her to go away.
I do appreciate the honesty and I understand how you feel. I'm torn because she is family and I have a risk of her telling the rest of the family my thoughts but I want to take that risk if it means helping her. I would rather her feel like she has people to turn to if she has questions then keep this place to myself.