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Post by NikkiD on Oct 3, 2018 13:53:21 GMT
After a few years of letters, I will be meeting my birth family. Any tips from those who have been through the reunion? Is there anything you would suggest bringing or doing for the first meeting?
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Post by timing on Oct 3, 2018 14:29:37 GMT
Take pictures. Write about it so you will remember. I just wanted to talk but I'd known my dad for a few months before we met.
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Post by River on Oct 3, 2018 18:05:39 GMT
Bring a camera, take lots of pictures. Maybe think about ways to ask questions you may not have gotten answers to in your letters. Some things to think about: Family pictures are triggering for us, it makes sense that they might be triggering for b-mom/b-dad too, so you could bring pictures of yourself growing up, but I'd ask first if they would like to see them. Plan an excuse for a break, you don't have to use it, but it's nice to have one just in case you find yourself feeling overwhelmed. Are you bringing a support person with you or going on your own? Is it a day thing or an overnight thing? Will there be lots of different family members or just b-mom/b-dad's immediate family. You may find that you might want some alone time with b-mom/b-dad. When I first met my b-mom I was so focused on her that she might as well have been the only person in the room. It's really about what will make you feel the most comfortable. It's a big step and good luck!
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Post by ladyblue on Oct 3, 2018 20:26:34 GMT
You might have more people reply to your thread if you signed up as a member and posted your question in the regular forums.  |
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Post by adopted1968 on Nov 28, 2018 22:26:26 GMT
I met my birth cousins and family last year. They knew nothing about me or the adoption. When they invited me to there family reunion I say “yes” and moved mountains to get there. They lived in rural Missouri. Nothing like any place I’ve ever lived or visited. It was surreal. I couldn’t sleep for 2 days before. When I met one of the cousins it was great at first. They lived very humble. She was nothing like me. After about 2 hours, I felt a deep dissatisfaction or let down? Has anyone else felt this way. I pushed it aside and really tried to just live in the moment and get to know these people, my birth family. The feeling went away and I ended up having a good time. The cousins said they felt connected and a few invited me back to stay longer and get to know each other. My suggestion is to be there in the moment and don’t over think things if possible. And good luck, you’ll be great!
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Post by icarus on Nov 29, 2018 1:24:05 GMT
I wish I would have studied.
I went into that completely expecting everybody in the family to know who I was and for me to have had a spot the whole time that I ever existed.
It never dawned on me that I was the family secret (I'm autisic lots of things don't dawn on me until the very last second).
So my hopes were pretty much crushed if I could go back in time I don't even know if I'd meet them.
But if you don't have the kind of expectations that I did, you might be able to find something beautiful out of it.
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