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Post by DavisP on Dec 10, 2020 17:46:56 GMT
I am going to try to summarize what everyone has posted. If I have left out anything that you think should be include then please tell us. This is in no particular order. 0. This site is for you - the members. You make it worthwhile for both you and others. Your honesty and compassion is what makes this site valuable. Telling your story helps others. The moderators are useful only when there is conflict - which thankfully is not that often. 1. Introductions are import and we should continue the practice. 2. Advertise the site on other adoption/adoptee platforms: This is a good idea and it should not be left to the moderators. We will do more and have already begun that effort. But, each member when they visit other adoptee sites need to spread the word, also. 3. Some form of mentoring would be useful: - reaching out to newcomers - asking newcomers what they are expecting - checking with them at 30 -60 days - enabling a one-on-one interaction/pen pals - Have a moderator act as the voice of newcomers - take input/questions that they are reluctant to post and post for them. - email newbies asking how they are doing. - have a support system for mentors * Right now the system sends a rather sterile acceptance email. ladyblue is looking into how we might make this a warmer acceptance.
* I think we need some sort of mentoring program. I would prefer that it be a member-to-member effort rather than one focused on the Moderators. My experience in Al-Anon taught me that being a mentor helped me, also. The moderators can help and they can be a mentor if they choose. I am going to suggest a way to set this up and get it started. I would like people to bring up any issues they have with it. A) Members would volunteer to be a mentor by contacting a designated Moderator B) Once there was maybe 10 members willing to participate then Moderators would assign new members to a mentor. C) The mentor would reach out to the new member and help them in any way they could - including all the items under item 3. D) Maybe we could set up an area where Mentors could discuss problems relating to mentoring where non-mentors could not access. 4. C reate a GSA thread as many adoptees are interested by this. I am not opposed to a GSA thread, but I am opposed to creating one because it is titillating. I think this forum works because each thread is there because some member is dealing with an issue in their life and not an academic exercise.
5. Ban members who do not post. I am opposed to this because in our Principles - item 3 specifically states that "Sharing is encouraged, but not required. " Mission Statement & Principles That statement is there because there are people who are shutdown and they can't post yet - but they can read, which might open them up enough to begin posting.
6. Have regular chat sessions.
We have tried this in the past and are not opposed to the concept, but how can we make this work?
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Post by cmcshurley on Dec 11, 2020 4:46:28 GMT
I am wondering is there a way to start a thread like Questions where all posts can be anonymous? The only reason I suggested questions go to a moderator was because then they could be directed somewhere to be posted. I would volunteer to post anonymous questions- just let me know how we could go about it. I check in just about daily, and currently retired though thinking about a part-time.
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Post by richardj on Dec 11, 2020 17:41:21 GMT
DavisP, all the above looks good, sensitive issues like GSA could be assigned access ( if that worked) forum members would request access to the thread, how that would work in practice I have no idea, I am only putting the thought out there.
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Post by DavisP on Dec 13, 2020 2:56:45 GMT
If you are willing to mentor new members and have over 100 post, please PM me. I would like to get the mentoring program going.
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Post by Nuthatch on Dec 13, 2020 13:09:36 GMT
First, I agree with the person who said that what's happening here is not unusual relative to the general tend. People seem to be spending less time on forums such as this. Maybe there is some research on why this general trend is happening somewhere.
DavisP said at the beginning of this thread:
I think it's important to ask people to introduce themselves here, also.
I suggest that either mods or other trusted long-timers (because I know mods are already busy) could coordinate to have someone email the people who register and post once or not at all, to find out what happened.
For people who don't post at all, it could be that they aren't adoptees but want to join to see what we're saying, and they bail when they realize that are still limited in what they can read without making an intro. Just a guess. When I ran an unrelated forum years ago, we found there that a number of registrants also seemed to be bots. That forum's registration system was eventually overrun by bots, actually.
For people who only make one post, or maybe a few but soon leave and never return, I suspect some of these people are deep in the fog and disturbed by some of what they read here. If these people especially could be communicated with then that could be helpful, both to find out what specifically led to their decision to stop posting and also to allow for the possibility of dialogue that might encourage them to stay. Please note that even if a few people leave because of perceived "negativity" of certain topics, I think it's very important for this forum to continue to be a place where all adoptees can express their views openly and be heard. I don't suggest changing the forum in order to keep adoptees who would rather not encounter harsh realities and anger, but it might help for those people to discuss their reactions with veteran members privately.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2020 13:40:10 GMT
I think the idea of mentoring or having one-on-one conversations with new members is great. I’d love to volunteer, but I can’t commit to it at the moment. Hopefully if my situation calms down in the future I can help.
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Post by River on Dec 14, 2020 17:37:38 GMT
3. Some form of mentoring would be useful: - reaching out to newcomers - asking newcomers what they are expecting - checking with them at 30 -60 days - enabling a one-on-one interaction/pen pals - Have a moderator act as the voice of newcomers - take input/questions that they are reluctant to post and post for them. - email newbies asking how they are doing. - have a support system for mentors I joined this group because I was in crisis with my adad and the trauma sparked my defogging process. The responses of welcome I received when I wrote my introductory post were extremely encouraging and welcoming. I think if someone had asked me what I was expecting, I wouldn't have been able to answer and it would have been very discouraging. I didn't know what I was expecting and I didn't even realize some of the issues I was having until someone else here expressed the words for me. All I knew was that something was wrong and I needed help. By reading the posts and identifying with the posters feelings I was able to figure out the words I needed to understand what I was going through. I didn't really have any expectations, I just needed to be able to identify with others, to know that I was not alone and not the only one. Validation was HUGE for me. With a life time of dismissal of my very real and very valid feelings, to read about others experiencing those same feelings made me realize that I was not defective, that my responses and feelings were NORMAL under the circumstances. And that anyone experiencing adoption issues would feel and react in the same ways as I did. I don't post as often as I initially did because I need breathers. Constantly focusing on adoption issues, sometimes the same ones over and over again are too overwhelming, with no clear solutions. Healing takes time and sometimes I need a break and change of focus. Also, attachment issues make things difficult. I've participated in a few private messaging conversations with members and wasn't able to keep it consistent or ongoing. This site is therapeutic, one of the only places (actually THE only place for me) that I can visit and know that people will really understand what I'm feeling, because they feel it too. But like therapy, we all need breaks sometimes and too much too soon can be a setback. I think we already have an informal member to member mentoring system that has intuitively occurred, however if you wanted to implement something more formal, I would suggest implementing it in a way that promotes choice. I think we all have members that we seem to identify with a little bit better than others. And a lot of that has to do with where we are in our defogging and/or similar life experiences. Organization of discussion topics might be a good thing. There are common issues and traits that crop up regularly, like people pleasing, attachment issues, adoptive parents, reunions, sexual abuse, addictions, etc. General adoption discussion is a little too vague sometimes. I'm assuming that like most of us here, I usually just click on Recent Threads and never know what section they were posted in. I'll look at the post topic and if it's something I think I might relate to, or an issue I'm struggling with, I'll read it. I try to welcome new members as much as I can, so I look for those too, and I also look for posts from members that I identify with. Perhaps some type of poll on how members actually use the site could be helpful. Also offering some form of dedicated 'genealogy' or 'search help and support' sections might generate more traffic. I am very thankful that this site exists and I would be devastated if I was "abandoned" because I didn't meet a quota of posts. Thank you to everyone here for sharing so much of themselves and providing their time and support, no contribution is too small, sometimes a simple I hear you can do a world of good for someone who feels lost.
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Post by DavisP on Dec 14, 2020 18:27:42 GMT
River, You make some great points. Once a new person is in the door and making posts then I believe they can make a choice for who they would like to be in touch with. The people I would like to reach are the ones that seek us out and register and may or may not make an introductory post, but never come back to even see if they had any responses. For these people I would like us to reach out to them. Maybe mentoring is not the right word, but encouraging them to try us.
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Post by abc99 on Dec 16, 2020 10:11:15 GMT
My experience with this forum has been in different stages.
The first part i was just browsing, then i engaged, then i probably got a bit too comfortable
There are some.valuable loyal members here, but maybe... Myself included... Tend to get too comfortable
I think a section with information or beginner stuff could be good...
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Post by DavisP on Dec 16, 2020 13:17:46 GMT
abc99I'm not sure what you mean by beginner's stuff? Do you mean the mechanics of how to use the forum?
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Post by abc99 on Dec 16, 2020 19:12:52 GMT
abc99I'm not sure what you mean by beginner's stuff? Do you mean the mechanics of how to use the forum? Ill try to articulate more. I guess pre defogging stuff. When i came on, i was hessitant to engsge with people becsuse i felt everyone had a set agenda which they were trying to enforce on me. It made me almost leave and was too much. I need to go for work, ill try to expamd more when i get back
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Post by cmcshurley on Dec 17, 2020 7:10:27 GMT
I agree with Davis- trying to reach the ones who sign up and don’t return, the new members in general especially the ones who seem reluctant or nervous about being on a forum. For those who join and jump right in I think the normal group welcomes are usually enough. I don’t think anyone here who has been active but takes a step back to breathe, or take a break needs to worry about not posting enough. Everyone should feel free to take a break or just read for however long they need. I think the concern is those who have reached out to join but quickly leave or never return. They obvious felt the need to join. I know in my younger years I would open up the adoption box- join matching sites, Bastard nation, research anything I could. Hit roadblocks and close up that box and back on the shelf it went.
abc99 I would be interested to learn more on what you experience when you were new. Good feedback is being shared.
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Post by abc99 on Dec 17, 2020 9:45:26 GMT
I agree with Davis- trying to reach the ones who sign up and don’t return, the new members in general especially the ones who seem reluctant or nervous about being on a forum. For those who join and jump right in I think the normal group welcomes are usually enough. I don’t think anyone here who has been active but takes a step back to breathe, or take a break needs to worry about not posting enough. Everyone should feel free to take a break or just read for however long they need. I think the concern is those who have reached out to join but quickly leave or never return. They obvious felt the need to join. I know in my younger years I would open up the adoption box- join matching sites, Bastard nation, research anything I could. Hit roadblocks and close up that box and back on the shelf it went. abc99 I would be interested to learn more on what you experience when you were new. Good feedback is being shared. I reached out to this forum because i needed help. My life was a mess and my instinct told me adoption could be a cause and i wanted to reach out and ask members and talk to them about their experiences I didnt know what defogging was. But when i read some posts, i became cautious. I felt there was an undertone of hate and anger behind some of the posts and felt like an agenda was being pushed or sold to me. I write that with no judgement to the posts. Im just being honest. So, i wanted to leave the site But one member wrote a reply which resonated to me deeply, so i endured. And then i became obsessed. So that was my journey. So this forum is a valuable safe haven. I love it and the community... But it's also easy to get a bit too comfortable and spill out your guts to new members, who would leave. Which i nearly did So when i say beginner stuff.. I mean just information stuff. Non descript i guess. But i actually love the place. Its a wonderful community. I also think that some adoptees feel it a betrayal to speak badly about it. So they leave
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Post by DavisP on Dec 17, 2020 14:52:20 GMT
Thank you, abc99 It is not surprising that you noted an undertone of anger. I think many of us if not all carry some anger about being relinquished/adopted. Some more than others. We have lost members who could not contain their anger and left when they attacked another member and did not accept moderator feedback. I am not sure how we could address this. I would like to hear any ideas. Here are some of mine: * We could have a pinned post stating that we accept people where they are and some of us are angry - try not to take it personal. * We could suggest that if they are offened by anyone to please PM one of the moderators * We could tell them that it can be very helpful to have someone to talk to one on one and that we encourage new members to ask any member via a Private Message to be their mentor. And if they say no then don't take it personally.
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Post by cmcshurley on Dec 18, 2020 4:03:42 GMT
Thanks abc99- I appreciate you sharing. I was intimidated when I first joined by a response from another member. I think it was on my first post. I almost gave up, but I was scared just to be joining this format and sharing so I think I was looking for any reason to run. But luckily others were very kind, and I quickly realized this one member was angry at everything/ everyone. I think most of us find the forum because we are needing help. Your feedback is helpful. We want to have a site where people can express how they are feeling, not censoring the anger unless it is directed at another member. We need to be able to share our truths, our hurts, our fears freely. And everyone is at a different stage. And we encourage people to share whatever they are comfortable with, spill your guts. DavisP always says telling your story helps you heal. And many times someone reading it relates.
DavisP- I like your suggestions. Maybe if we could pin a list of member willing to be mentors or contact directly. Then someone wouldn’t be told no. I have reached out to others when I feel someone is really struggling with something I can relate to, but I always feel a little out of place- they didn’t ask for direct contact.
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Post by abc99 on Dec 18, 2020 5:08:31 GMT
Yeah, the community here is amazing, but it takes some time to learn that.
Maybe a creed or vision or statement. What we tolerate or dont tolerate, etc.. What we stand for, etc
In my day to day life i struggle with opening up and the daily grind.
This is the first place where i felt like someone actually truely understood me. For real.
Maybe its a projection.
But thars why i find thus valuable
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Post by DavisP on Dec 18, 2020 10:07:47 GMT
Maybe a creed or vision or statement. What we tolerate or dont tolerate, etc.. What we stand for, etc Have you read our Mission Statement? Mission Statement
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Post by Nuthatch on Dec 18, 2020 16:42:29 GMT
Hi abc99, I think I had a similar reaction on the forum which preceded this one when I first joined. Thanks for speaking up. It reminded me of my early days. In particular, I initially had a hard time separating "adoption" as a specific institution from my own experience and love of my adoptive family. Posts criticizing adoption - that I had never seen before - initially caused me to feel confusion and alienation. Posts accusing adoption agency workers of intentional manipulation of both birth and adoptive patents for profit were shocking, and at first I didn't want to believe it. My parents had told me that the religious agency they went through had workers who with the best of intentions prayed about the placement of each infant, seeking guidance about the best match that could be made. This myth that I had grown up with was threatened by what was being said. But I also saw people speaking from their own experience, plus citing sources that I could check, and as I continued to read, my eyes were opened. I learned that although individuals may have had good intentions from their own perspective, the institutions and policies they were following could be inherently manipulative. The whole thing can then raise very uncomfortable questions that don't have easy answers. The complexity of these issues can be difficult to deal with.
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Post by DavisP on Dec 19, 2020 15:28:09 GMT
cmcshurley and I have been contacting new members who have not posted or who have posted once. The feedback from them indicates that it is difficult to know how to use the site. I would like to put together a user guide/greeting that would help them get started. So, I'm asking for feedback on what you think would be useful for a newcomer. Here is what we have: 1) Include our Mission Statement and Welcome. 2) Explain the layered design and why. What would have been helpful to you getting started? Thanks in advance for your feedback.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2020 15:57:28 GMT
I wish I could think of something. I found the site very easy to navigate when I first came here, and the instructions very clear.
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Post by lindsay106 on Dec 19, 2020 22:09:48 GMT
I also found the site very easy to navigate.
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Post by jaye on Dec 19, 2020 23:03:30 GMT
cmcshurley and I have been contacting new members who have not posted or who have posted once. The feedback from them indicates that it is difficult to know how to use the site. I would like to put together a user guide/greeting that would help them get started. So, I'm asking for feedback on what you think would be useful for a newcomer. Here is what we have: 1) Include our Mission Statement and Welcome. 2) Explain the layered design and why. What would have been helpful to you getting started? Thanks in advance for your feedback. I didnt know how to quote and just winged it on posting. But,i have very limit computer skills ,so many things confuse me even when explained. It was overwhelming at first as i wasnt sure how to word my intro or anything,then i didnt know how it would be received and wondered what type of responses i would get. I was pleasantly surprised. I still dont know how to resize pictures to put on here. But i will work it out one day. I think after posting 10 or so times i felt more comfortable to keep posting. After 20 or so posts,i felt like i belonged as i felt like i knew how to navigate my way around and was more relaxed. I didnt have any bad experiences or unwelcoming posts. I found it helpful having others that were also new in here and knowing i wasnt alone in being a newbie.
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ta206
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Post by ta206 on Dec 21, 2020 2:02:30 GMT
When I first joined I admit that I was surprised about the "introduction" and being asked to talk about myself. I tend to be a "lurker" even in real life and avoid looking that carefully beyond the general "how are you doing" that we all hear a dozen times a day. I pushed myself to make that post and try to balance it to not sound angry or needy.
It is still hard on some days to engage because it is my nature to observe and not join in. This forum has really helped me reach out in bits and participate. But I still find myself pulling back when I think I've reached out too far, and questions almost make me hyperventilate as I would rather have a root canal than be introspective.
But speaking one on one doesn't seem as scary anymore, and seeing that my feelings and revelations aren't foreign to others is beyond comforting.
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Post by brien on Dec 23, 2020 5:59:12 GMT
... Please note that even if a few people leave because of perceived "negativity" of certain topics, I think it's very important for this forum to continue to be a place where all adoptees can express their views openly and be heard. I don't suggest changing the forum in order to keep adoptees who would rather not encounter harsh realities and anger, but it might help for those people to discuss their reactions with veteran members privately. A few years back I thought there was a bunch of us who were coming out of the fog and dealing with some fairly serious anger towards adoption. I remember feeling like every positive glowing story erased all of us who suffered so much due to adoption. It was difficult to verbalize or bring that subconscious feeling to the surface and express it clearly at the time. For a long time I couldn't believe those glowing tales were even true. I have suspected a few as being fakes but they haven't stuck around. Adoptees with negative experience or outlook on adoption certainly are erased in the wider society, it shouldn't be so here. I am not certain it would have been helpful to go to one person to vent, and likely wouldn't be fair to that one person to be loaded down with so much.
The important thing for people to see is that there can be a lot of turmoil, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Maybe bringing this phenomena out in the open, when "happy" stories want to compete with "painful" stories.
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Post by brien on Dec 23, 2020 6:10:26 GMT
Thank you, abc99 It is not surprising that you noted an undertone of anger. I think many of us if not all carry some anger about being relinquished/adopted. Some more than others. We have lost members who could not contain their anger and left when they attacked another member and did not accept moderator feedback. I am not sure how we could address this. I would like to hear any ideas. Here are some of mine: * We could have a pinned post stating that we accept people where they are and some of us are angry - try not to take it personal. * We could suggest that if they are offened by anyone to please PM one of the moderators * We could tell them that it can be very helpful to have someone to talk to one on one and that we encourage new members to ask any member via a Private Message to be their mentor. And if they say no then don't take it personally. I just had an idea posted above to Nuthatch. I remember, in the midst of a big defogging blowout, not being able to verbalize that built up anger for being shut down by society and the prevailing industry glowing version of adoption. I literally saw the glowing stories as an extended social effort to deny any negative experiences and erase us again. That may not be true, but that is how it felt at a gut level while defogging. Perhaps being open about this phenomena and recognizing that in threads that trigger that anger toward the industry that put us in this position might help people through the feelings.
It may be that this forum is for people who are ready to do the hard work of going through the turmoil, anger, resentment, confusion, lost feelings, rejection feelings. People who are all glowing and happy with adoption wouldn't really have a stake in this forum anyway.
Not sure if I am making much sense, but hope to help. This forum has been a tremendous help to me during a very long difficult process. I am so grateful to the people who have cared and responded.
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Post by brien on Dec 23, 2020 6:15:44 GMT
cmcshurley and I have been contacting new members who have not posted or who have posted once. The feedback from them indicates that it is difficult to know how to use the site. I would like to put together a user guide/greeting that would help them get started. So, I'm asking for feedback on what you think would be useful for a newcomer. Here is what we have: 1) Include our Mission Statement and Welcome. 2) Explain the layered design and why. What would have been helpful to you getting started? Thanks in advance for your feedback. It took me a bit to figure out how to quote people. I think I struggled a bit with it, and I work with some fairly complex software at work, which gives me a leg up on figuring stuff out and not being afraid to make mistakes while figuring it out.
I once figured out how to post photos, but now can't do it again.
Maybe provide an immediate resource to assist people with questions? Offer them an private question option if it is too much of a hurdle to ask publicly?
Let them know that we don't want the technicalities of the forum to discourage people from participating.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2020 7:03:30 GMT
I have been on the forum for a year and a half. I was 25 years past failed reunion and defogged when I joined. Just being honest here but if I had not already done work in therapy the angry tone would have made me not want to actively participate.
I get the anger and agree that members should be able to express themselves honestly. There have been times when I felt bad for a newbie that was invalidated. Maybe they still read but they stop posting. I think a mentor or a way to communicate with a moderator without reporting a post is a great idea.
This forum has helped me continue to heal and I am grateful to have a place I feel I truly belong.
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Post by DavisP on Dec 23, 2020 9:21:36 GMT
Here is a draft of a welcome email with some information on how to use the site. Any comments would be appreciated. Pasting into here did not keep the formatting. I tried to put some of it back, but did not include the numbering and could have missed some of the bold formats. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Welcome Adult Adoptees Support forum is adoptee-centered. This forum was created by adoptees, and is owned, administered and moderated by adoptees. We have created this forum to be a safe and private place for adoptees to talk to other adoptees. In order to do that, all of our forums are private, which makes the forum appear to be inactive. Please be assured that we are an active, growing adoptee community.
Our focus is simple: We are here to provide support for the adoptee in the process of dealing with adoption issues.
Some of our members are pro adoption, some are anti-adoption, many will fall somewhere in the middle. All posters MUST remember that SUPPORT is the core of this forum, NOT politics. This board was created for the very real individuals dealing with the fall out of adoption in their lives. There are other boards for antis and pros. This is not it.
This forum is based on the ideal that adoptees need a place of their own: to support one another and to learn from one another without having to balance our feelings against other members of the triad. That can be done elsewhere, but here, adoptees are at the center. This forum is the inside of adoption looking out. It starts with US, the children of adoption, now adults, with voices that need to be heard and words that we need to speak.
We acknowledge wounds and scars here. We acknowledge loss and grief here.
While we acknowledge being adoptees to be our common thread, we also acknowledge that adoptees have different depths of feeling and ways of dealing with our adoption. We want to be able to support adoptees regardless of their political or personal views of adoption and expect that the members and posters will respect their fellow adoptees in ALL stages of their growth.
Mission Statement:
Adult Adoptee Support is a moderated on-line support group for adoptees by adoptees. Our goal is a safe, secure and private place for adoptees to share experiences, thoughts and feelings about adoption.
Membership:
This board is for adoptees. Other members of the triad will be considered on a case by case basis. If allowed, they will have limited forum access.
There are five Principles that all members are expected to follow.
Principles:
We are a peer to peer adoptee support group. We are not a professional counseling or therapy group.
Everything shared here is private and is not to leave the forum. (members may give permission to use specific posts).
Share feelings and experiences. Share advice only when asked. Sharing is encouraged, but not required
.All members share the responsibility to make the forum work. This includes both abiding by the Principles and reporting posts that do not . Accept members just as they are. Avoid making judgments.
Past Issues:
Solicitations: Posts about products or services are not allowed. Members who have personal adoption writings may post links or writings only in the Media/Writings section. Researchers seeking adoptee input should contact a Moderator
Touchy Topics: Religion & Politics: Discussion of these in relation to one's own adoption experience is supported. We urge caution otherwise. We will shut down any thread that does not support our mission.
Inappropriate Comments Inappropriate comments in a post or in a Private Message does not support this site being a safe place. We will discipline any offender. Please report issues promptly and save screenshots of offending messages to provide to the moderation team.
Moderator Responsibilities (This includes Admin)
Moderators will be identified to all members. Moderators will post as members and are subject to the Principles, as are all members Evaluating and approving new members. Reading member’s posts to ensure the Principles are being followed. Moderators are responsible for enforcing the Principles when conflict occurs. Giving warnings and/or discipline when needed, up to and including being banned from the forum and removal of posts. Usually members will be warned prior to being banned, but we reserve the right to deny access based on a single post. Reported posts may be moved or deleted. Fixing and updating the Forum as needed.
How to use the Forum The following is for anyone who wants help with the basics of using the Forum. Navigating the Forum After you have logged in across the top of the page is a series of navigation buttons. Homepage This takes you out of the forum to our public site. Welcome This is the welcome statement that is in the first part of this document.
Forum This takes you into the heart of the forum. The Forum has a layered access design that depends on the number of posts the member has made.
Note that the title of the first section of the forum is labeled Forum Information (Public). public meaning anyone who has registered has access to this area even if they have not made any posts. More of the site opens to members as they make more posts. This occurs after 1, 10, 30, 50 and 100 posts. In general the more sensitive the topic the more posts are required. .
Each section is clearly labeled with the number of posts required for access. This is our way of providing a safe place for adoptees to speak freely. Most of us have been told how we should think and feel about being adopted and this is our place to say how we really feel without being judged.
Recent Threads This shows you a list of the currently active threads. Useful for reading what has recently been posted on the forum.
Participated This shows you a list of threads that you have posted in and may want to keep up with.
Profile This has several options: two important ones are: Edit Profile: This allows you to make decisions on your Avatar (the symbol shown for you). You can design your own, or use an image you like. Under Edit Profile there is a Settings button. This allows you to select several options on how you want things. An important one is to select the forum Theme to use. Remember to save any changes you make before you leave.
Messages This allows you to send a private message to another member.
Search This provides the ability to search for a particular post.
Bookmarks Are very useful when you want to be notified when a post is made in a thread. For example if you have opened a thread and do not want to miss when someone posts in it then bookmarking the thread will keep you informed.
Making your First Post Click on Forum and then under Forum Information (Public) Click on Suggestions, Requests and Questions. Then Click on What's that mean? Acronyms and other terms and read through it. This will help you understand what you will be reading.
Now navigate to Introductions. Read the introductions that interest you. When you are ready - In the upper right of Introductions click on Create Thread. This opens a form where you will need to enter a Subject in the top box. This can be whatever you want, but for your introductory post maybe just your username and Introduction is all you need. You have read other people’s posts to see what you might want to say. We know it is scary to talk about yourself to a bunch of strangers. But, remember you have already been able to read member’s introductory posts and we would like to get to know you, also. If you are concerned about someone reading your post then be careful with your wording or leave that part until you are in a more secure part of the forum.
Reporting a Problem or Post We ask everyone to accept people where they are and to talk about their own experiences and feelings around relinquishment/adoption. And to offer advice only when asked. Sometimes however, someone crosses the line. If you feel attacked we want you to report it and let the Moderators handle it. You can report a post by clicking on the gear cog button to the right of the Like button. Select Report Post. Then explain why you are reporting the post. The moderation team treats this very seriously.
Replying to a Post There are two ways to reply to a post: 1) Quick Reply: At the bottom of the thread that you are reading is a Quick Reply frame. Type your reply in the frame and in the bottom left of the frame click Post Quick Reply and you are done. If you like smileys then before you post your reply you can click on Select Smiley or View all Smilies. 2) Reply:At the top right of the Quick Reply Frame there is a Reply button. Click it and you are taken to a new form that has many options. You can change fonts, underline, add internet links, photos, etc. and you have a bit larger viewing space for your post. Instead of the thread you are posting in being above you as you make your post - it is now below you.
Quoting an entire Post or a part of a Post Often it helps to quote a post. There are two ways to do this. In their Post on the top right there is a Quote button. Click this and the entire post will be quoted and ready for you in the Quick Reply area. The second method allows you to quote a portion of a post. Click at the start of the area you want to quote and hold the click down while you drag the cursor to the end of the area you want to quote. A Quick Quote button will pop up and clicking on it will save the quote in the Quick Reply area. It is a good idea to put a couple of blank lines between quotes.
Tagging another member You can refer to another member by putting an @ in front of their username in most cases. However, if the member has changed their username then you have to use their original username - which you won't know. You can still tag them, but it is a bit harder. The easiest way is to Quote them and delete every thing but their tagged name . Everything Else If you have questions or just don’t understand please ask anyone.
Welcome to the forum.
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Post by jaye on Dec 23, 2020 12:41:06 GMT
I like the way everything has been worded and easy to read for a newbie.
It explains everything well and broken up into sections with bold makes it even better.
Well done,i like it!
Tick of approval from me.
I think its a great idea and covers everything well.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2020 13:30:06 GMT
I like the way everything has been worded and easy to read for a newbie. It explains everything well and broken up into sections with bold makes it even better. Well done,i like it! Tick of approval from me. I think its a great idea and covers everything well. I agree!
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