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Post by Marie53 on Jan 11, 2019 12:47:35 GMT
Hello, I am the friend of an adoptee who has not had great experiences regarding her birth family. I am looking for an active place for her to be able to talk to other adoptees and be able to discuss and “vent”. I just wanted to be sure this forum was still going strong and can’t tell since i am not a member! Thank you for any replies!
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Post by DavisP on Jan 11, 2019 13:22:44 GMT
This forum is active and going strong. Your friend will be welcomed and be with other adoptees that share her life experiences including reunions that do not go well. However, unless you are an adoptee, you will not be able to participate. I hope your friend joins us. It is very thoughtful and kind of you to try to help her.
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Post by NurturedNature on Jan 11, 2019 16:00:01 GMT
That's kinda the major drawback to this forum that I've noticed. It's pretty difficult to determine how busy/active it is until one takes the leap to register and start participating for validation. I think some folks who need this forum will click past it. But on the flip side, it's key that so much is private and not accessible until someone is a valid member... The old catch 22...
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Post by David on Jan 11, 2019 16:29:46 GMT
Most here have not had good experiences regarding their birth families. In that respect, your friend would be among others who could truly sympathize and offer support. I would highly recommend he/she join the forum. There is absolutely nothing to lose by jumping in and everything to gain.
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Post by fleur on Jan 11, 2019 20:57:01 GMT
Your friend will know in her heart whether to join as a member and if she decides to do so , I can guarantee she will find much support and understanding here . I joined over a year ago and it has helped me enormously to understand such a turbulent life that was very difficult to comprehend . Other adoptees know from experience the pain, loss , suffering involved with being an adoptee .
I really hope your friend finds solace and inner peace on her journey .
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Post by Jammie on Jan 11, 2019 21:37:19 GMT
I have found this forum very helpful. The members are open to sharing their feeling and support.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2019 22:07:09 GMT
This is the number one place for an adoptee to discuss, listen and learn. Everyone here is very helpful. I hope your friend joins us!
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Post by sgail on Jan 11, 2019 22:31:24 GMT
That's kinda the major drawback to this forum that I've noticed. It's pretty difficult to determine how busy/active it is until one takes the leap to register and start participating for validation. I think some folks who need this forum will click past it. But on the flip side, it's key that so much is private and not accessible until someone is a valid member... The old catch 22... Interesting, I hadn't thought of that. Maybe I can post stats occasionally in the outside area. Thanks for the suggestion
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Post by ladyblue on Jan 12, 2019 4:23:17 GMT
I just logged out to check and thread counts show up for guests, just not when the last post was made except for this forum and Mission Statement forum. Since neither of these forums get much activity, it could be hard for someone to judge if the forum is active or not.
I'll check if there's any options I can toggle to make the last post date show up without showing titles or member names.
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Post by Nuthatch on Jan 12, 2019 16:11:16 GMT
That sounds like a good idea, Ladyblue, if the forum settings will allow it. There is the public blog page that everyone can see, also. I wonder if putting things there more often would give the impression the site is more active.
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Post by brien on Jan 12, 2019 17:16:09 GMT
There is the public blog page that everyone can see, also. I wonder if putting things there more often would give the impression the site is more active. You mean a blog with articles we respond ot? As long as it is clear that we are posting in public, but I wouldn't want to mistakenly post out there. I usually approach from the "Recent Threads" queue since I frequently visit, so sometimes I don't notice in which section of the forum I am actually posting.
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Post by Nuthatch on Jan 13, 2019 4:38:11 GMT
I was thinking of this page: adultadopteesupport.blogspot.com/?m=1It's separate from the forum but I think some find the forum by finding the homepage first, or maybe look at the homepage before signing up here. The latest blog post there is almost two years old.
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Post by NurturedNature on Jan 13, 2019 5:07:16 GMT
Apologies for the criticism and thread derailing, I feel I may have been a bit out of place. I've setup a few forums and currently maintain one, so I definitely feel the pain of trying to find the right balance between privacy and function. As a new member I could relate to the OP's friend, I wasn't sure if there was an active community here, but after much thought, decided to sign up and check it out...
I've always thought I was different than most, like nobody was like me... But, it turns out I'm just like an adult adoptee, and there are others like me. I'm sure we all have different stories and interests, but is also seems like there are a lot of common threads here. This seems like a pretty amazing community and I'm glad I found it to help start the defogging process. I didn't even know that was a thing a few days ago...
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Post by ladyblue on Jan 14, 2019 4:24:49 GMT
Apologies for the criticism and thread derailing, I feel I may have been a bit out of place. I've setup a few forums and currently maintain one, so I definitely feel the pain of trying to find the right balance between privacy and function. As a new member I could relate to the OP's friend, I wasn't sure if there was an active community here, but after much thought, decided to sign up and check it out... I'm glad you brought it up, actually. We don't see the page non-members see unless we deliberately sign out and I never considered the possibility that not seeing recent activity might result in people thinking the board wasn't active. The issue has been fixed now. The default theme, which is seen by guests, now has a forum information box that only contains how many threads & posts, how many members, most users online and how long ago the last updated post was.
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Post by opusdei1988 on Jan 14, 2019 13:01:22 GMT
I just signed up a couple of weeks ago and found a wealth of info that has helped me move forward. Today I am embarking on one of the first steps, going to my County courthouse to go before a judge to get my original birth certificate released. Without this forum, I would have just spent my wheels.
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Post by sgail on Jan 14, 2019 20:08:33 GMT
Apologies for the criticism and thread derailing, I feel I may have been a bit out of place. No not at all. It is a good idea. I can put it on the homepage were it talks about the forum. Perhaps set an alarm for myself every 2 months? Does that sound reasonable? Is there an average number of post a day statistic somewhere?
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Post by brien on Jan 14, 2019 23:52:53 GMT
I think it looks good! Good job and thank you!
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