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Post by brien on Dec 23, 2020 21:31:17 GMT
Just being honest here but if I had not already done work in therapy the angry tone would have made me not want to actively participate. I am glad you were not driven away! My apologies if I have written anything that offended you or anyone else.
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Post by ladyblue on Jan 1, 2021 7:10:40 GMT
Here is a draft of a welcome email with some information on how to use the site. Any comments would be appreciated.... This is great Davis. I'd like to suggest the site navigation is moved to the top, though. I think a lot of people might not read far enough to see it if it's below the mission statement section. The whole thing can be used to replace the current automated email for new members.
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Post by tally314 on Jan 4, 2021 1:57:46 GMT
I'm one that will be active and then not post much. I'm going to try to post more regularly. I want to share that when I first started in this forum I couldn't believe the intense, honest feelings expressed here. Being with all these kindred spirits changed my life. That being said, if someone is not quite ready, this forum may be overwhelming. Some people may feel it's too much or they may feel that they don't have these issues. That's not anyone's fault. As far as mentoring, the people would have to be a good match. I would be fearful that I would be seen like a counselor. Getting different opinions from everyone is what makes this so valuable. I like the idea of anonymous questions being able to be answered. That would probably help a lot. There's been some issues that I still haven't brought up, but would bring up anonymously. Thank you. You all do a great job & help many people.
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Post by DavisP on Jan 4, 2021 3:51:24 GMT
I would like some discussion on the idea of asking anonymous questions. The framework that we inherit from FreeForums.net requires a member name to create a post. So complete anonymity is not feasible. We could set something up were a member could request a moderator to post a question.
We would have to decide at what Post Count we would put this area. I would think not less than 10 and maybe more.
I admit that I personally have some reservations about this, but I am willing to try if there is enough interest.
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Post by justd on Jan 4, 2021 4:05:35 GMT
I would like some discussion on the idea of asking anonymous questions. The framework that we inherit from FreeForums.net requires a member name to create a post. So complete anonymity is not feasible. We could set something up were a member could request a moderator to post a question. We would have to decide at what Post Count we would put this area. I would think not less than 10 and maybe more. I admit that I personally have some reservations about this, but I am willing to try if there is enough interest.
Do you think there's a demand for it? I see the value when people want to ask delicate questions. And there are certainly delicate questions here. However, I've found that I feel free to say things here because this is an adoptee-only forum that I wouldn't say elsewhere. The people here who also follow me on Twitter (@ddgulledge) might well ask where I draw the line there, but I do. I know that my bmother has read some of my tweets, and I suspect one of my bsisters has as well.
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MarieLynn
Regular
Having fun on my new project ourbearcave.weebly.com
Posts: 412
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Post by MarieLynn on Jan 5, 2021 4:27:45 GMT
Hi Davis I am one of those people who has been coming and going recently. I find myself away from the forum for months at a time. And I assure you it has nothing what so ever to do with this forum.
As we all know 2020 was an overwhelmingly depressing year. Even those with a strong foundation are struggling to stay emotionally balanced. We all know how overwhelming things have been so I will not even get started on it. But to put things simply most adoptees are pros and compartmentalizing and in the world today we have to pick our battles.
I will share why I have cut down on posting only because it may help you to understand why others may have.
I am currently struggling to not sink into serious depression. I have had to push adoption thoughts back in that old comfortable safe box to keep myself sane. I sit here fighting tears just having come back after a while away. Don't get me wrong my life is very good I have no right to complain when I see others are truly struggling.
But even though I am so much better financially than most people the pandemic is killing me all the same. My brother and his wife are currently fighting covid. They have had it over a month and though they have not been hospitalized they are also not able to get out of bed more than an hour or two a day. I am a caretaker and I have to sit back and watch to sick people care for themselves because there is nothing I can do without putting myself and others at risk. All I can do is call every day and try to keep my spirits up.
My daughter caught it(she is fine now just felt like she was hit by a Mack truck for a week) a few weeks before I was supposed to visit with Bio mom, so I had to quarantine. I have no clue when I will be able to see her again because the number of cases are just too bad. My husband is super high risk and I am high risk so we can go nowhere or do nothing. The joy of my week is doing grocery contactless pick up LOL. Or maybe taking a drive with my husband.
To top it off(OK I know it sounds stupid) my shoes have fallen apart and it is so hard for me to find good fitting shoes because of my stupid big fat feet. So despite being financially fine here I am looking like a bag woman wearing my slippers to do my grocery pick up. So I am literally dreaming of just walking into a shoe store and buying a D%*@ pair of shoes.
Then there is my dad and the D%*@ politics.
The fact is I do not know if there is anything you can do to keep me coming on a daily basis like I used to. But that has nothing at all to do with the forum. It is just life in the pandemic and me just trying to keep from drowning by locking the adoption basket of emotions back in the safe until I am emotionally sane enough to handle it.
One suggestions I might make is to make an exclusive area to post anything with political leanings and move any post that are political over there. Most adoptees here tent to lean liberal. This is for good reason as liberals tend to have more empathy for our cause and many of the groups that support conservatives are the same groups that support adoption and seek to ensure our voices are not heard. But that fact in itself makes us rather emotionally intense in our views. I myself have got emotional at times and posted political things. That said, that does not mean there are not conservative adoptees, especially those that are just dipping their feet in the water and have not yet really come to terms with the effect adoption has had on their lives. I have never seen any political conversation get heated here but conservatives being a minority may just leave. I myself am a liberal leaning independent and I do support some conservative ideas and not all liberal ideas. I know that adoption is without a doubt a political issue because those who make the laws are controlling our access to information we have a right to have but with politics so toxic these days, I think it may be helpful to have a few areas where politics are banned.
that is just my two cents, I hope it helps.
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mer
Apprentice
Posts: 36
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Post by mer on Jan 26, 2021 15:14:16 GMT
Plus ,. some adoptees may have gone through some seriously horrendous experiences that feel truly too complex to talk about .. This is very true in my case. Even though I’ve already published a couple of terrifyingly intimate confessional essays addressing formative traumas, some of my adoption stuff still feels too massive and terrifying to safely share anywhere. I’ve been meaning to ask (I apologize if this has already been answered elsewhere) ... are any certified counselors or psychologists in this forum?
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Post by DavisP on Jan 26, 2021 18:01:03 GMT
merWe have had a few counselors who were adoptees on the site. They were here as adoptees and not as counselors. And we have had one or two counselors come here that were looking for clients and we do not allow solicitations. So the answer is no, we do not have a list of counselors. I am sorry that you have had such terrifying experiences that you do not feel safe to share. We do have part of the forum that requires 100 posts to view/post in. If that would be of help to you we could waive the 100 post requirement for you. If you are interested in this contact any moderator. I believe that there are many people who come here that find it scary to post here.
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mer
Apprentice
Posts: 36
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Post by mer on Feb 9, 2021 7:23:06 GMT
Thanks for the offer, DavisP, I’ll think about it. Right now I’m honestly too overwhelmed to do much more than lurk, but it’s still really good to be here.
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